Love Story Sucks

OK, I know I'm going to upset a lot of adolescent and teenage girls here, but I just have to say the following;

I really hate the song "Love Story" by Taylor Swift.

The first time I heard it, I was watching the video, which is really pretty. Her hair is awesome. her dress is beautiful. She has an awesome voice. SHE doesn't suck. The setting is romantic, I'm still enough of a little girl to say that I really liked the video. So I thought I'd like the song but every time I heard it, I ended up disliking it a little bit more, and with all the time we've spent in the car and working on the other house, I have officially reached the point where I really HATE that song.

I will attempt to pick out a few of the more bothersome points here;

"You were Romeo, I was a Scarlet letter"
OK- if I remember The Scarlet Letter well enough, then that would mean that one of them was married, right? Yet why is she all concerned with her Dad and he's proposing to her in the end of the song? She's obviously not married. So is little miss Princess a young girl who is dating a married man? Maybe I'm wrong about the implications of the term Scarlet Letter. I'd reread it if it weren't all packed up right now.

"Marry me, Juliette you'll never have to be alone"
Oh poor pathetic little girl. Imagine. alone. Excuse me, but if a man's biggest asset is that he can keep you alone, then keep lookign honey. How about "Marry me, Juliette, I'll keep the b ills paid and let you decorate the way you want and I'll put the toilet seat down."


"I talked to your Dad go pi-ick out a white dress"
What century is this? And,um... the word pick only has one syllable.

"Romeo save me"

OK- this is where my inner feminist comes through. Attention modern songwriters: please don't perpetuate the lame romantic insanity that says
"women are empty lonely shells without a man around and we need to be rescued from our pathetic little lives"
or
"Our daddies decide our romantic fate and if you wanna buy a girl just appeal to her Dad and make a side deal so you can rescue her from her miserable existence"

"This love is difficult but it's a--re---eal"
yeah, they stretched the word real to be three syllables. They could have just added filler words, like "the real deal" which would still rhyme, but anyways, they didn't.

I realize that teenage girls can be hopelessly romantic. I really do remember that. However, I don't think we should be feeding the insanity. Or mis-using literary references because maybe we think girls are so stupid that they aren't reading the classics. Or stretching out words like "pick" into two syllables and "real" into three syllables so we can maintain the same lame story-telling tuneless rhythm that wouldn't have seemed so lame if the word "pi-ick" wasn't used.

With all of that said. I don't turn it off when it comes on. I sing along with my girls and every time there's a pause in the song, I pick pick pick it apart, just in case my kids haven't figured out where I stand on the issues, as a romantic feminist. They roll their eyes because they're secretly hoping a prince in his white horse will come rescue them from their nutty mom and feed them white bread and let them ride by the airbag. And they REALLY want that dress. Me, too. And that hair.